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Recently

Recently, I have just been working and spending my paychecks as fast as they come on my days off. However, I have also started to volunteer at the adult literacy program. I am going to be a tutor to someone who is not very proficient at reading or spelling. I am very excited and I can hardly wait to get started. I even had an orientation and training already. I can't wait to be productive :]

So, the big news is that they matched me up with someone and I go in for a meeting tomorrow around 12:30 to find out what level they are at and where we need to start. Needless to say, I am very anxious to do well and hope that they like me. I know that my age may be a hindrance especially, to someone much older than I.

All I can do is make sure I come prepared and do my best! In other news my joy has been declining lately. I'm thinking I use it all up at work. . . seems like a possibility to me. I need to find my happy place again and stick with it. I mean, I love everything around me. I think I just miss my family since the holidays are coming up. I'm noticing how alone I really am now. It is not a good feeling.

What I really need is. . . . . . a hug. . . . .

I'll keep posting about the changes and the meeting tomorrow. Have a wonderful time doing whatever it is that you do :]

xoxo,
        Mel

OOOOhhhhhhYeeaaaaaaA!!!!!! ;]


Hells Yea! I finally got my new California Driver's License today. I am so happy and stoked. It looks awesome-o to me. hahaha. I'm sounding lame but oh well. I can't help my excitement. I'm officially official. Lol, I am a real resident and now I have proof. I can't think of a better way to start my day. I am just so happy. Now I can go to the DMV and get my stuff crackin on my little car.

Things are really coming together. Now all I need is my make-up and other random shite. Hopefully, get to the redbox to return some movies and rent some new ones. I need to get this show on the road. I also turned my temp library card into a reg one. I just showed them my license and it was done!

My life is super happy right now. All cause the mail came. haha I need to get more of a life lol. I just can't help it. Hopefully, handle some car stuff with my grams and gramps today. Well, gotta go now. Devo is waiting at home and I said I would hang with him today. He is such a jerk-face sometimes but I gotta love him cause he is just too cute for words and he knows this.

P.S. Halloween was like any other day for me. I wore a little extra make-up with a hair pretty and I looked nice but I worked so not much I could do. I didn't go out either. Just got my inner old lady on. Just stayed home and worked on a scarf I am trying to finish with my lame crochet skills. At least I am trying. <3\


Thunder Cats are Out!, 

                            mel

Meanie -_-


I've come to the conclusion that I'm big jerk-face. I have little feeling and compassion for others when I don't want to. I'm caring and kind but only when I feel like it. I guess I'm kinda heartless too. I made friends with an old friend from elementary and know he is annoying the hell out of me. I feel bad but I'm like dude, get over yourself. Yea life sucks but your a man so grow a pair and move on. Of course, I don't tell him this but man I kinda really want to.

However, I promised to be a friend and listen to him when he needs to vent, and that is what I shall do. I just wish he would quit flirting with me in the process. He is definitely in the friend zone with me and there is no way he is leaving it. Compliments are always welcome just so long as they don't get personal or to ......... gay.

Moving on, work is going very well. I feel like I have improved soo much and everyday is a little easier to handle and manage. I'm still not perfect but then again, who is? Hahahahaha, so now I find that I have free time on my days off and I am renting movies from Redbox and trying to catch up on all the media I missed out on in the last 3 or 4 months. I can't even remember how long I have been here.

I am also working on getting my little car ready to go. I just have to wait for my license to come in the mail. It seems like it is taking forever. I just want to get my car ready to go so I can zoom around wherever I want. On my days off I could go to the beach if I wanted to. That is something I am definitely looking forward to. The process for getting everything handled is just taking longer than I would like. To get my license I also had to go and get my birth certificate. Which was very easy to get but it cost me a whole day.

Other news is that I have a cute little folder for all my importante papers and it is totally cute! I am proud of it :) Kinda silly? maybe so.... but I don't care.

In other words, I am a meanie... I just noticed that meanie is just like my name except the L is missing Meanie--Melanie. They are super close together. Maybe it is a sign, Who knows. I'm kinda just trying to find my own and yea I come off as a beezy but hey, your issue, not mine. Don't like it? Oh well, you will live. You either love or hate me or whatever. Point is, make a decision hahahaha, I'm ranting.


xoxo
      Meanie haha <3

Handeling Business*


Soooo........Life is going pretty good right now. I still don't have a car but I suspect that problem will be rectified pretty soon. My Grams and Gramps are giving me a little car and I just have to pay them back a little each month. I am soo happy. I just got my birth certificate yesterday too. I had to search it out but it was so worth it. I had to get my birth certificate in order to get a license in CA. I went to the DMV this morn and I need it. Lol, I feel like I'm rambeling. I think my spelling is off today. Please excuse my grammar.

Anyways, took the test and I only missed one question and I feel very proud of myself! I'm on top of the world today. Things are being handled and business is being managed. I know that everything is going to be okay. I'll I have to do is stay strong and positive. Well, not positive, but I do have faith in myself and my family and the lord. Everything is coming about because that is how it is meant to be. I just hope that everything is going well for everybody else as well. I want everyone to have this feeling of accomplishment that I have.

In othe words, my job is going well. I have really adjusted to the work and yeah, it's not perfect but it is nothing that I can't manage. I like all of the people I work with and I hope that they all like me. I think that we all get along pretty well, which keeps me from dreading seeing their faces hahaha. The residents are pretty awesome too. I love listening to them talk about themselves and their lives. I learn so much just from out little chats and I really look forward to saying good morning to them.

I need to be careful, lol. My journal is starting to sound a bit happy. I guess my life is just looking better right now and I have no reason to be all negative and depressed at the mo. I'm looking forward to each day and what it brings. I love looking out the window and seeing hills and green! I love the greeness and even the fog and mist! I'm sounding kind of lame, Huh? Oh well, I can't help it. This is just me now. All that needs handeling is getting the car legally in my name. Once that is completed life will be just grand. I'm soo looking forward driving my own car and riding the bus only because I want to not because I have no other options or choice. Hopefully, I'll see the grandparents soon so we can get this show on the road, Literally. Hahaha, Okay I gotta stop cause I am now successfully annoying myself.

Watch some Tyler Perry movies and laugh and cry. Go on a nice walk. Stare at the scenery, Say 'HI" to a bum. Something, anything! Just do!

Love Always, 

              MELLIE


(#^.^#)

I am just soooo happy right now. After an exhausting day of running around, I handled my business. I just hope that everything else follows through for me. I really need this job and I know I would be good at it. Being a server is something I'm comfortable with and know how to do. Old people just love me. I can't help it :D

Anyways, I had to get my fingerprints done and them I had to get a drug tes, physical and a TB test. All in one day, which sucks cause I am literally terrified of needles. Not to mention all of the paperwork I had to fill out. I just hope there are no issues with all of the paperwork. I did everything on my end and now it is all in God's hands.

In other words, I haven't been to the library much lately and it is kind of like missing a friend. I am so comfortable here. This is my zone.  I'm gonna go now........yup yup. Take care.


----------- Mel <3

Spam Musubi

 Yesterday was a pretty awesome day. I decided to venture outside after being sick and I was supposed to meet up with a friend. However, when I woke up I had an e-mail for a job interview for that day. I couldn't not go so I had to cancel with J. I went to the interview and the lady really liked me. My prospects are looking really good for the job so I am super excited. I really do want this job and I know that I will get it if it is meant to be.

Then I found out that my prescription for my glasses is valid until March 2012, which is really good news for me. Since I broke my glasses this means I can just order a new pair. I am sooooo tired of wearing contacts. I really can't wait to be able to walk around with my glasses again. I'm mad at myself for breaking them in the first place. Stupid mistake on my part.........I fell asleep on them and totally snapped them. Not my smartest move...yup.

As a celebratory move, I went and bought some spam musubi. It is so good. I bought mine at this Hawaiian place. If you have never had it, you should definitely try some. You will see what you have been missing out on. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH.........my mouth is watering thinking about it hahahah.....wow, I'm hungrier than I thought...Better go and stuff my face now (#>.<#)



Sincerely,
                Mel <3

HuMaN AgAiN

Sooo............I finally feel like a human again.......almost. I'm still a little stuffy and sleepy but otherwise my mind is back to normal. I feel like myself again and it is a really good feeling :) I'm actually going to venture outside tomorrow to Downtown. I'm excited to get out of the house for an extended amount of time and not end up exhausted xD.

Anyways, almost fully back to normal and starting up exactly where I left off............... :(     Bright side isssssssssssssss .... I got nothing lol. At least I can still laugh

----- Mel

Yea, yea, yea....................

So I woke up today and I just felt plain gross. Not the best way to wake up :( Anyways, I go outside and to downtown to see if it is just something I can walk off. Turns out it's not. In fact, I feel worse. I really just want to go home and sleep. Unfortunately, I am too boy crazy to stay inside all day and not visit the library to see if a certain someone is here today.

He is by the way. Anyways, now I feel like I have a fever and I'm starting to feel a little light-headed. Darn me and my stubborness! I'm sure I look just plain gross so what does it matter right? It does matter though, at least to me it does. I'm pathetic I know but why fight nature when I wouldn't be able to rest right anyways If I'm kept awake wondering?

I don't think he even notices me.... Why should he? He is really good looking and I am probably not even in his league. I just can't help but hope that by some weird twist that he would be looking for someone exactly like me.

Oh! So yea, I'm sick and I'm away from my mum so she can't take care of me like she usually does when I'm sick. I just want to be cuddled up and feel like a big baby right now. My eyes are literally feeling heavier by the second....Mum always said my eyes always give away how I feel and I'm sure that they look absolutely dreadful right about now.

Okay, I'm gonna head home soon now so I can rest up and hopefully feel better and more like myself tomorrow. If anyone cares my e-mail adress is melliedoll@gmail.com Hit me up if anyone feels like chatting or what-not.

-------------Mel

What I Want

I guess for most little girls, it's the same thing over and over again. Sure, I want my prince charming to come save me on a horse. I would just like to make some revisions to this "dream."  Such as could he be a ninja prince? Maybe even have a black horse instead of white. Better yet make it a unicorn or a fire breathing dragon. Just some thoughts, but hey, a girl can dream. Yea, I want to find love and live happily ever after, but I am not going for the same dream along with every other little girl. I grew up watching the Disney princesses and yea, they were my role models for a long time. I always wanted to be Belle since we were both brunettes and she loved to read and sing. Not just another pretty face but in the end I have come to realize that this will probably never be.

Point is, I want to live my life with someone who loves me for me. Cliche? Yes, but what can I say? Unfortunately, i am not just the average girl. I must have been absent when they were programming their brains to be cute and attractive in every annoying way to the opposite sex. When most girls grew up flirting and having sex and just being slutty, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I am unbearably shy and most comfortable typing on the computer where most don't even know me. I have a facebook but it is for what people expect me to say and not really what I want. There is some truth but overall it is more for my acquaintances than for me. I just can't disappoint them with my normal self.

Oops, I got sidetracked (#^.^#) So, I just want someone to accept me fully for who I really am. Someone I can just be comfortable with and not so self-conscious with. Someone who doesn't expect me to be something that I'm not. i want someone who is my other half. One of my greatest fears is to end up all alone in the end. I know my family loves me but that is not the kind of love that I crave. I'm just thirsty for some for someone to love me the way a man would really love his lady. I want to feel cherished and adored. Just to be held in their arms and feel perfectly safe and loved. Maybe I'm just a crazy dreamer, but I hope that one day someone will feel all of this for me.

I guess I just want to know what love feels like. Love for someone else in a romantic way. I have never been in love and it is one of the things I regret most in life. I try to pretend like it doesn't bother me but it does. I have little school girl crushes where I doodle their names all over my binder but I have never been in love. Most people look at me like I am something to be pitied because of this and I am starting to really wonder if they are right. I suppose I will just be one of those people who loves once and always. I can live with this as long as I know that i will eventually love. I just hate being so lonely in the process.

Sorry, just feeling a little lonely and having a bit of a pity party. I wonder if anyone reads this? If by chance you do please feel free to say hello :)

Over and Out,
      Melanie

Been Some Time

So much time has passed since I have been on here. About a year and some time. I must admit that I forgot about this site completely. I was .... I have no excuse other than i am lazy and just plain forgetful. I even forgot what my username was. I made a new profile today (mellietru) and then remembered this one a couple of hours later. I think I'll still use the other one but I have not fully decided yet.

Anyways, what has been going on? For me it has just been pretty much the same everywhere I go. However, I am currently in California instead of Arizona. I also quit my horrible job. i finally decided to live a little. Unfortunately, I do not have a job right now which just plain sucks. Especially, since money makes the world go round.

On a brighter note, I finally had a boyfriend. He broke up with me though. Something about me not being emotionally involved or some such crap. Point is....he was mine and he was pretty good looking. Unfortunately, I wasn't the kind of girlfriend he wanted. I didn't care what he did or where he went. I had no desire to call him at all hours of the day and night just to say hi. Sucks for me, but that is the kind of girlfriend he wanted.

Today, I went to the beach with my Grams, cousin and their two doggies. We got some sammichs and went and ate them in the sand while gazing out at the crashing waves. it was almost an epic moment with the fog rolling in. Anyways, we splashed around in the waves and my cousin totally got her chips jacked by the crafty seagulls. They won this round but we will be better prepared nest time. There were a lot of surfers today too. It was nice to just relax and watch them handle the waves. Then we stopped and bought some apples and strawberries from a fruit stand. It was a really nice and relaxing day. We also bought some saltwater taffy.

My life is kind of boring right now. I seriously need to make more friends and get a life. I also need to get off of facebook for a while. I am addicted. It is kind of sick how much i go on it a couple times a day. Alas, I must blame my phone some for making it so easy. Sooo I am sleepy now so i think I'm gonna pop in a movie and drift off into slumber.

Strawberry Wasted <3

Melanie

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